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[16 Oct 2004|11:33pm]
[ mood | drained ]

oh my god. I totally forgot all about this journal. I have so0o0 much to tell you all. Firstoff I have livejournal friends. A totally sexy sk8er boy named Evan and my gothy friend dyinginthedark. She is so awesome and she loves Slipknot too. They are so sexxy.

Anyway, life at school has been sucky as always. The nuns are always yelling at me. Although my mom takes away my gothic-punk jewelry, I still find my ways around the dress code. Okay so I saw Robyn this weekend and we went to hot topic and I got these soo cut chunky high heeled shoes with a skull on them and a fishnet shirt. Anyway, I snuck the shoes and my shirt in my backpack Monday morning and went off to school. I met Andrea and her friend Beth and we all went into the bathroom so I could get changed. Andrea was going to break dress code with me, since she was wearing a dog collar and had her nose stud in. OMG. So hardcore. Beth was being a little goody good and just hanging out there, but oh well. We love her anyway. I put my fishnet shirt under my polo shirt and took off the gay ass loafers my mom bought me.

Anyway I got out of the bathroom and saw Brian, who I've been dating now for a week. OMG he's so cute!! He saw me and he was like "OMG baby you look so hot" and he couldnt resist, so he pressed me against the locker and we started making out. haha we do that everyday and it grosses soo many people out. Anyway Sister Mary Kathrine (stupid whore) came out and was like "Thats not appropriate, and your out of dress code again Andrea! Brian get to class!) So I was like "We're just spreading the free love, you bitch!" Then she sent me down to the principles for another ISS. Whatever. My mom is freaking out. She thinks Im such a rebel and Im gunna tear the family apart. Whatever bitch. Im a goth rebel punk. So deal with it.

Lately my dad hasnt been around. Everytime I go over to his house he's neglecting me for work. Im stuck with my mom and my preppy bitch stepsister, Tiffany. OMG. She's so stupid. Like I come over and she's all like "Your ugly, you dress stupid, stay out of my room you fucking freak." And my dad buys her everything. She just got a brand new Escalade! You've got to be kidding. She thinks shes so cool because she drives it out to parties and gets drunk and smokes pot and shit. Her moms a bitch too. Like last time I was over there, Brian snuck over, and she walked in on us making out and he didnt have a shirt on but I was wearing clothes. Anyway she told my dad and he lectured me about what a whore I was and how Im screwing up my life. I was like "Whatever Dad. Its not like your ever around to care anymore!!" Why did he leave me! I live with my mom half the time, and his focus is now on his preppy bitch stepdaughter and his stupid wife! I dont even have a father anymore, I just have a sperm donor!

Tonight moms in bed early and Jakes at a friends, so Im sneaking out to see my love Brian. Im sleeping at his house. Later sk8ers


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LOSER [02 Sep 2004|09:02pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Oh my gawd. I love the Surreal Life. It makes me sad though because JR used to love Ron Jeremy movies *sigh* I miss him so much. I shouldnt but I do. I saw him Monday night at Starbucks. Me and Robyn went in for coffee. He acted like I wasnt even there, and that hurt like no other! I should be glad. But Im not. I wanted to go talk to him and complain about what his girlfriend was writing about me but Robyn told me that would be a bad idea. Apparently he and his girl (I found out her name is Kiarra, what a dumb name) make out in the hall in between every class and he even humped her on a cafeteria table. Totally gross. Hes still talking shit I hear, which makes me want to cry. I still feel the betrayal after all this time.

Im soo confused. Okay so after detention on Thursday I went to the skate park with Derick and his friends Bryan and Nate. Bryan was such an awesome skater and I had soo much fun talking to him. Hes a senior and hes totally cool. He loves NFG and GC and Blink 182. Just like me. Oi Oi! (Thats what punkers say) lol. Anyway I was skating and impressing him with my moves (just perfected an ollie thankyouverymuch) and he started flirting with me hardcore. He told me Derick wanted us to meet because he thought we'd be perfect together. hes really cute so we ended up making out behind the skate ramp! It was soo awesome. Hes a grrreat kisser! I want to be with him but I still have feelings for JR. Whats a girl to do?

Bryan asked me to go to a movie with him this weekend, but I have to visit my gay preppy sister and my bitchy stepmom. Yep. Its my weekend at the dads. Im soo mad. I mean I loves my daddy and all but I wanna see a movie with Bryan! Soo unfair! My life SUCKS!!!!

On top of it all, yesterday in school some senior punk kids were laughing at me and saying "Who does she think she is, Avril?" I wanted to cry! OMG! They were saying the same thing about Andrea and how much of a slut she is! Thats none of their buisness if she wants to fuck her boyfriend. There all prudes anyway. I mean if I found the right guy Id totally do him.

Which reminds me, today after school I was walking by the boys bathroom when Bryan was walking out and he pulled me in and I pushed him against the wall and we started making out and he touched my butt! Woo! I grabbed his too! He has a nice butt..butt butt butt.. :-)

Alrighty well I have a stupid English test tomorrow but Im not studying. Maybe I can flunk out and go back to public school. Its so stupid. My mom hid all my goth punk jewerly. I woke up Monday morning and they were gone!! She told me it was the only way she could get me to follow the dress code in my school. She said shed give it back on the weekends and when I go out, but its soo unfair. Why is she ruining my life?

Everyone makes me wanna lala. Oh man. Ashlee Simpson rocks so hard. Punk style. Woo. Punk Ashley's unite. Me and her should start a club. That would be awesome!

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Feeling Depressed [10 Aug 2004|07:07pm]
[ mood | crushed ]
[ music | Evanesance-"Hello" ]

Yesterday with Robyn was supposed to be fun. My mom drove us to the mall and dropped us off. First we went into Hot Topic (because thats where us hardcore kids shop, duh). So I bought this cute plaid dress, some fishnets, and a pair of bondage pants (I was saving up babysitting money since forever) and my ex JR has the nerve to walk in with his preppy new girlfriend! OMG!

So anyway he knows Im in there and starts making out with her and grabbing her ass and shit! I try to pretend Im not upset but then he calls Robyn over and says really loudly: "Yeah tell Ashley shes a fucking bitch and I want to punch her in the face!!!" And then his girlfriend yells: "Oh I do too, and you better stay away from my man!!!" So I went up to the counter and bought all my stuff, then I ran out of the store. Robyn was mad because she had to chase after me but she understood I guess.

We went up to the food court and all I did was cry. JR has ruined my life soo much. He's the one who made school so tough for me. We were going out for 3 months! OMG! I loved him so much. Then he goes around telling everyone that Im a whore and I gave him head when I never did. The reason he broke up with me is because I wouldnt do anything physical with him. Then he tells like all of his popular preppy girlfriends that I was talking shit about them and they made my life a living hell. Everyday they'd throw food at me, cuss at me, push me down, all that crap! I try to act all tough, being as I am a gothic punk, but hey I cry too. Most of my time from the time we broke up to when I left school was spent sitting in my room listening to Linkin Park and Dashboard Confessional and bawling. Everyday was such a living hell. What I hate is how im so in love with him still even though he hurt me so bad!!!!!!!!!

So I spent the rest of my time at the mall crying, even though my cool skater friend Ryan dropped by and bought me a cookie. Well that made me feel a little bit better. Just nothing can heal the pain of loosing my first real love.

Today I felt a little bit better. My mom made me a peanut butter sandwich (I <333 PB sandwiches) and I played with my dog, Spunky. I love herr sooo much! Mom says were going school supply shopping tomorrow. Normally I wouldnt want to go but I have to make sure she doesnt buy any school supplies that are dorky or pink (ewwww).

Ryans stopping by later today and we're going to the sk8 park. I got on my baggy bondage guy shorts and a red and blue striped polo shirt. I think Im gunna wear one of the ties my dad gave me. Hes a cool guy and he likes ties. Im going over to his house next weekend, I think. Thats another thing that makes me depressed. Although my parents got a divorce when Im 8, Im still sad that they dont live together, and I hate my stepmom and my stuckup preppy stepsister. I wish things would go back to the way they were. I wish Jake would stop spending so much time with his stupid jock friends. All he does is play football and we never hang out anymore. It sucks that he gets to go to public school while Im stuck in some prissy ass hellhole. Uggh. Everything just sucks

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[10 Aug 2004|07:03pm]
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